This is a short list of things that I learned over the weekend, none of which have to do with football.
1. Back in pre-volcano-destroyed Pompei, they used human pee to wash their clothes. Apparently urine is a form of ammonia. They put big clay jugs on the streets to collect the stuff from folks who just had to go. If we follow this logic, shouldn’t subway stations be immaculate? Pee’s a funny thing.
2. The Phantom Menace is confusingly not-so-good. I’ve never been quite so late to a party, but holy cow. Here are my three points of befuddlement:
- Natalie Portman’s voice is all over the map. Is she a low-speaking robot alien, or is she just a regular 18 year old from Sudbury working a summer job at TGIFriday’s before she goes off to college? I get that she’s “two people” but it turns out, plot-wise, that she’s only one person. Lucas, make a decision! You have money and time to figure it out (in the late nineties).
- Every line young Anakin says is pretty dumb. Most notably “Yipee!” which is said more than once. Also, “whoa!”which he exclaims when Liam Neeson lifts him from the ground into his pod. His pod, which he very cooly races at incredibly dangerous speeds. He doesn’t blink when he’s almost killed numerous times during the race. Yet, when Liam Neeson lifts him two feet up in the air, he’s all “whoa!”. Gimme. Abreak.
- Jar Jar B. I get it, everyone has talked this to death (in the late nineties) but I just have to acknowledge that he directly quotes Stephanie Tanner many times. Lucas, you have so much time and money and so many resources. Why quote Full House?
3. I am in love with the Bearcats. I am lucky enough to be in a casually formed group of amazing women from ImprovBoston. We don’t perform often, but when we do I feel like one supergirl among many supergirls. So fun, so much female. We’ll be at WICF this year!
Okie doke, that’s what’s shaking for now.