Family Double Dare Physical Challege

We like a challenge. That’s why we’re having a baby and trying to buy a house at the same time.

Something clicked when pregnancy went from the abstract “we’re going to have a baby!” to the concrete “there’s a new human coming into our lives and she is developing fingernails as we speak.” Suddenly, it felt very important to move closer to the awesome, supportive net of people whom I love, otherwise known as my family.

So, we are trying to buy a house. We’re almost there, but not quite yet. There are still a number of flaming hoops for us to jump through, and being at my peak weight currently, jumping is a particular challenge. But, with a lot of help, we’re doing it! Almost like adults.

But in the meantime, I’m enjoying the best season of the year in our tree-filled, apple orchardy western suburb and relishing this blessed time known as the second trimester. Just yesterday we:

1. Went apple picking

2. Ate cider donuts

3. Got pumpkins

4. Walked around Walden Pond

5. …And made a pie.

You’re all like, “wait, did you have the best day in history?” and I’m like, “duh.”

These activities, while objectively awesome on their own, are a million times more enjoyable when all you’ve been able to do in the preceding months is lay on the couch and throw up sometimes. I’m just so grateful that I am able to get out and enjoy the perfect weather. And eat all the pie. Guys, I’m eating…all the pie.

I know I’m going to get more and more uncomfortable. Towards Christmas I’ll be a house-like creature with back pain and probably a bad attitude — but now is great. And I have to say, feeling the little girl poke and kick inside my belly is without a doubt the least-lonely feeling in the world. It makes me feel so happy.

I can’t believe she has to leave for college one day…


Anatomy of the Worst 15 Minutes

Sometimes when you’re having a crap day, all it takes is a little office-appointed Pandora Radio to tip the balance into full-fledged rage-mania. This sequence of events just occurred in real life:

–  “Marry Me” by Train In which the 73 year old adolescent man in pleather pants stalks a woman in a coffee shop. The lead singer of this band is someone I feel morally obligated to report to the police.

– “You had a bad Day” – “…you sing a sad song just to turn it around!” Dear singer of this song who I don’t care enough about to look up, you’ve never had an emotion. No matter how many journals you buy while other people are watching, you can’t fool humans, android. Get off my planet.

– “Faithfully” by  Journey The sensation of suffocating slowly in an orthodontist’s office circa 1989.

– “Take it on the Run” by REO Speedwagon – “Heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who…” Like a thick blanket of congealed day old flavored coffee washing over you and everything you own. You’ll never live another day not smelling the sick sweet stench of rotten french vanilla.

-“Big Yellow Taxi” – As sung by Counting Crows and Vanessa Carlton. I thought this was a toilet paper commercial for the first 2 minutes. Also, no one on this track understands the irony of singing “they paved paradise and put up a parking lot” after destroying the original version of this song and creating this mall -food disaster? No? Doesn’t register? Great.

…and it goes on as I type. Daughtry, anyone?

Please send help. If I never see any of you again, I’ve loved you all.