Waiting for a girl.

It’s going to happen – she is going to arrive. My doctor is good, though, about not ringing any alarms. At my appointment yesterday she just said, “You know, if you feel a gush of water, or if you’re having time-able pain in your abdomen that comes five minutes apart, go ahead and give us a call.”

So you mean, if my water breaks and I go into labor? I can read through your tricksy subtext, doctor.

I do, however, appreciate how breezy she is about the whole thing. Because, although it could happen soon, it could also just…not. First time moms often go past their due date (mine is February 8th) – so it’s extremely possible that we have a Valentine’s baby.*

So life becomes a series of internal movements, and of feelings. It becomes trying to just concentrate on things like baking chicken, organizing work tasks, entering writing contests, and figuring out which high chair we want to buy. The nesting instinct that so many of my peers have enjoyed has been merely an abstraction to me. Something you hear other people have but don’t really understand, like Restless Leg Syndrome or the desire to own reptiles as pets.

If you’ve met me in real life, you know I’m not much of anything, vertically speaking. I started to think about the girl inside and wonder if she has any of those genes that make my cousin Matt so tall. And if so, she’s probably so cramped in there that she’s already started resenting me. She’s probably already developed claustraphobia. THESE ARE THINGS I’M ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT.

I guess it will just be more material for her stand-up set. Oh god, what if she becomes a comedian…

We’re so excited to meet the little lady who has been breakdancing inside of me for many months now. It’s a mixture of emotions, from elation, to anxiety, to utter disbelief that this is something I get to do. She will be a very lucky chick, having lots of amazing support people around her (including a grandmother who threw her a gorgeous shower despite having pnemonia. Yeah, you read that right. My mom is a warrior.)

Even if she does want to do stand up – we’ll all have her back. And I have some very funny friends I can introduce her to.

*On the topic of a Valentine’s baby. I’ve thought this through and although it would be super cute for the early years, little girl could end up getting a raw deal in the gift department once she has a significant other. A duel “Birthday/Vday dinner” every year would stink and I’d end up hating the guy. Man, I already hate that guy. Get a haircut, hippy.