Triple Toe Loop of Passion

This Valentine’s Day I want to talk about love. Russian love. The kind that glides and twizzles and poses.  I want to talk about the most mysterious, fringed couple I’ve observed in pop culture in a long, long time: Tatiana Volosozhar and Maxim Trankov.

volsozhar_trankov2_psga6iw5_qrld5w6mWhat are you LOOKING at, Maxim, you graceful devil?

I haven’t caught much Olympic coverage this time around, but last night I was able to catch up on the pairs figure skating finals and NBC did a profile of these two snow bunnies. Before you go to IMDB, Tatiana did not star on The Office as Angela Martin, and incredibly, they aren’t even related.

Here are just a few things I learned between viewing the profile, and doing a little background research:

– She is from Kiev

-He moved to St. Petersburg at 15 and lived in an ice rink because he didn’t have anywhere else to go

-They have a dog together

-He categorizes their relationship as “romantic” AND “platonic”

-They spend all their free time together

And, come on.


There’s something fascinating about the whole pairs figure skating dynamic. There’s so much intimacy and sensuality involved in a lot of the routines, but it’s not like they’re all couples! Some are probably gay. Also, I mean, these guys are brother and sister:

Chris+Reed+ISU+Grand+Prix+Figure+Skating+2013+ajLrRyXpgUulThe Reeds from Japan. Brother and sister. Come on, mom, what were you trying to do here?

I enjoyed watching the Russians’ routine, as nightmarish as it was (Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack and their final pose was, yup, a cross). They have a beautiful, exciting-weird chemistry. You guys, they bought a dog and they are having sex with each other through intense gazes constantly.

Remember how he used to be a homeless 15 year old with ice skates? Now he has a gold medal, a funky ponytail thing, and his best girl to throw in the air.

Oh love, oh costuming choices, oh twizzles!

Happy Valentine’s Day.


One thought on “Triple Toe Loop of Passion

  1. I have been feeling all the feelings watching so many of these skaters compete..especially the pairs. It really is like Mulder and Scully on ice (which BTWs should COMPLETELY be a thing! I would pony up good coin to see Mulder and The Smoking Man hash it out triple lutz style). But it’s so true. And how many Mom’s are going to use the “Well at least you don’t live under an ice rink” thing when they’re kids are complaining? Great post. Thanks! 🙂

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