A confession: I love order. I deeply appreciate templates, clear directions, and strong leadership.
(But if a waiter suggests that I try the new iced tea, I will never ever order that even if it is exactly what I want because DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DRINK.)
(Because I’m obstinate, Bostonian, and unreasonable.)
I was thinking about this in the context of improvisation the other day. It’s funny that someone who, on a core level, likes solid structure would be so attracted to an art form in which there can be very little – especially the way that I teach and perform. My philosophy hinges on total freedom, personal agency, and flexibility. Make it work, or throw it gleefully to the dogs.
I’m coming to understand that this is probably a subconscious overcompensation. I know deep down that one of my major lessons in this life is “the world can not be controlled”. Additionally, no matter how clearly I’ve visualized something, it could go off the rails.
My mom used to say that I get to things sideways. I set a goal, but take the scenic route for one reason or another. I’ll spend a semester at another school, take up a major that I’ll get tired of and switch. I circle. It was frustrating for me for a long time. But I’m starting to internalize the Bilbo Baggins (possibly Aerosmith) lyrics – “Life’s a journey, not a destination” also, “Walk this way” – like, when I’m walking places. That one is definitely Tolkien.
The summation of this line of thought should be, “So, when you end up where you belong…” but I reject that. You already belong right where you are. You belonged the whole time! Weird!
Art by Jennie Kostecki Shaw: http://www.oopsydaisy.com/store/shop.html?artist=527
Also, try the new Peach Iced Tea – JUST KIDDING THAT’S THE WORST.